For a Future Generation

Psalm 102:18-22 (NIV)

18 Let this be written for a future generation,
that a people not yet created may praise the LORD :
19 "The LORD looked down from his sanctuary on high,
from heaven he viewed the earth,
20 to hear the groans of the prisoners
and release those condemned to death."
21 So the name of the LORD will be declared in Zion
and his praise in Jerusalem
22 when the peoples and the kingdoms
assemble to worship the LORD.

When I was in the hospital a few years ago with complications from appendicitis that nearly did me in, there was a time after the worst was over that I was no longer heavily drugged but I remained in the hospital for a couple of weeks. Between surfing the limited hospital TV channels looking for something other than Jerry Springer (having already watched all the Springer I could handle), I found myself wondering about what had just happened to me.

I had nearly died, but I was spared. I wasn't really sure why, and in many ways I still don't know. I was not a faithful follower of God at the time -- instead, I'd been showing up at church on Sundays so my folks would see me, and to see a friend or two, and other than that I was living a totally pagan lifestyle. I was really living for myself -- and doing quite well at it, in terms of academic and professional success, income, etc.

And yet, over a couple of weeks time, beyond my control, my life had nearly ended, and two basic questions buzzed around my ears. 1) If I had died, would I have gone to hell? and 2) What had I done with my life that made a whit of difference to anyone?

By the grace of God, He began to pull me into worship at church in ways I'd never experienced. Verses like 'Do not take me away, O my God, in the midst of my days' (Ps 102:24) began to bring tears to my eyes. And also by His grace, I came to a point where I have a confident answer to the first question that plagued me then.

That leaves the second question, which still keeps me up sometimes. Am I actively making a difference in and for His kingdom?

And that brings me back to the scripture I started with above. I pray that God is using my gifts for His glory, even if sometimes it's actually in spite of me. I am comfortable that He has me where He wants me in the body -- I don't feel unused or misplaced or anything like that.

But I think there is one particular task He has assigned to me where I can kind of see the long term goals and impacts to an extent: leading my wife and child(ren) to know and trust and love the One who saves us. Sometimes I'm not sure what the future holds in terms of what God has planned for me, but the potential future impact of leading my family toward Him is clear.

So here's to 'a future generation'. May we be and do as He wills. Bless His name!
Brian