Deep Breaths

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me
This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very Word spoken to me

And I...I'm lost without You
And I...I'm desperate for You
I'm desperate for You


For some reason God has used Michael W Smith's song Breathe to convict me over and over about the fact that, while the lyrics reflect who I want to be, my life often says otherwise.

The air I breathe smells more like my work or my family or worship ministry in general rather than God's presence. My daily bread tastes suspiciously like friends and family rather than the Word of God. And to really hear His word spoken to me? Not just to read the Word like a newspaper, or to hear a good sermon or discover a deep thought, but for God Himself to speak directly to me?

My faith tends to be less like breathing and more like bathing -- something I do regularly, but not constantly; something I do because I know I should, even because I sometimes long to be clean, but not because I realize that I would whither and die without it.

And so the chorus becomes a cry to God, to say that I long for the verse to apply to me, to describe me, but I'm lost, desperate, if He doesn't help me get there. There have been times when I've been singing this song, particularly when its been just between God and me, and if I let Him He'll sometimes use this song to...well, to ruin me. In a good way.

In the last couple of weeks I've seen this 'breathing' theme appear over and over again -- relating to the need to consistently surrender to God all day long, the need to continually communicate with my wife, the need to 'pray without ceasing', and on and on.

Oh that I would fully respond to God's Spirit rather than pulling away and getting wrapped up in anything and everything else. If I would more fully engage with Him, surely He'd resolve this ache, this longing for more purpose and direction in my life, for a career that makes a real impact on the world.

B