reach out and touch Someone

I'm in one of those dry times, when my relationship with God feels more like work than joy. Not that there aren't joyful times -- even now I feel very close to God when I'm singing my head off, and even when I'm just playing the bass and not singing; and anytime I feel close to God, there is tangible peace and joy in that.

But most of the time ... lately I feel like I'm kind of on my own. I know this isn't Truth. Its just how it feels to be in a dry time, I think.

But I think God is actively reaching out to me (as usual!). I've been inundated with thoughts, scriptures, blogs, comments, etc -- all about prayer. One that struck a disonant chord with me was Jeremiah 33:2-3, which showed up as a verse of the day over the weekend in my Google Reader:

“This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it—the LORD is his name: 'Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

This is an uncomfortable verse for me, because this has not really been my experience. At one point in my life, I really thought I was hearing from God as I read scripture and prayed. But if the messages I thought I heard were directing my actions or prophesying things to come, the latter have not occurred, and the former, on close inspection, are suspiciously close to what I might have chosen to do anyway. In other words, I'm not sure I was really hearing God at all -- very likely I was just hearing what I wanted to hear.

I choose not to let this diminish my faith. The God of the universe doesn't make mistakes, but I sure do. So I will chalk my confusion up to a misunderstanding on my part. I'll keep trying to live in the way Jesus clearly called his followers to live.

But that still leaves me in a position to seriously question anything I think I hear from God ... to the point that I wonder if I'm turning into Thomas. You know, the one who said he wouldn't believe Christ had been resurrected unless he could personally touch the nail-holes in Jesus' hands and feet?

Winding back around, though, it sounds like God is suggesting that I pray. That certainly is consistent with what he would ask of any of his kids. And it isn't asking very much.

So I'll pray. And I'll even listen. But if I hear a voice ... I'm not sure what I'll be able to do with that.

Luke 4:24-30

Finished Luke, and jumped right into Acts. In chapter 4, there is a prayer said by Peter and John -- or possibly by one or more others among the believers.

"Sovereign Lord," they said, "you made the heaven and the earth and the sea, and everything in them. 25You spoke by the Holy Spirit through the mouth of your servant, our father David:
" 'Why do the nations rage
and the peoples plot in vain?
26The kings of the earth take their stand
and the rulers gather together
against the Lord and against his Anointed One.'
27Indeed Herod and Pontius Pilate met together with the Gentiles and the people of Israel in this city to conspire against your holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed. 28They did what your power and will had decided beforehand should happen. 29Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. 30Stretch out your hand to heal and perform miraculous signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus."

Reading this prayer, several thoughts came to mind:

• I love that they prayed scripture back to God (v25 and 26). I expect to take a Saturday in the next couple of weeks and go to a park and really try to spend some quality time with God, and I must confess that I've wondered what the heck I'll talk about if I spend more than 20 or 30 minutes in prayer. I'll file this thought away for that day.
• Fascinating to think that (as in v28) its possible for us to do so terrible a thing as torture and kill Christ, only to find that God's power and will had decided this should happen. This certainly doesn't mean that any bad thing we do must have been God's will, but it could mean that some of the challenges we face were probably in the works for us, and just like Jesus, our role is to face these challenges as God leads us.
• Do you notice that the requests made of God come at the end, and even then the first request of God is that he would empower the believers to take action? I mean, my first thought on reading that part of the text was to pray the very last part, that God would stretch out his hand to heal and perform miraculous signs ... but they only asked for that after they asked for empowerment from God to speak his word themselves.
• And how would they know his word? From the teaching, from time spent reading his word, and from prayer. Which brings me back to the first bullet above. I need to step up in these areas.

Just thought I'd share today's study time with whoever might be listening.

B