As Much A Gift

Philippians 1:29, The Message
There's far more to this life than trusting in Christ. There's also suffering for him. And the suffering is as much a gift as the trusting.

One of my current struggles is differentiating between trusting in Christ and taking action on my own. I sort of feel like the last thing I heard was to stay put in my current job, more than three years ago, and I'm trying to be obedient to the last thing I (thought I) heard rather than acting on my own to make a change. I'm basically being told to do something that I just don't want to do: wait.

So I read that verse and I find myself thinking that perhaps, just maybe, this waiting is a form of 'suffering' for Christ, in addition to a time of expanding my trust in him. I hesitate to say that, since I'm not really 'suffering' in a physical sense. I mean, Paul was incarcerated, not to speak of what Jesus went through; I've got nothing on them. Honestly, this is probably about the nicest 'waiting room' anyone could ask for.

But my Strengths (as in 'Now Discover Your Strengths') start off with 'Strategic' and 'Achiever', and I'm really struggling to not make a big-picture plan, set some goals, and get after it. That's what I do. Its who I am.

And yet. Who I WANT to be is an obedient servant of the King.

So I'm going to trust, and wait. I'll grit my teeth if I have to. Pound my head against the wall from time to time as necessary. And I'll keep asking God to give me a clue.

There's far more to this life than trusting in Christ. There's also suffering for him. And the suffering is as much a gift as the trusting.