From Defense to Offense

It occurred to me today that I spend most of my time playing spiritual defense.

I struggle to take lustful thoughts captive instead of giving them control. I struggle against tailgating the guy that just cut me off on the freeway. I struggle not to be so selfish. And on and on.

I spend most of my energy battling the path of 'what I don't want to do, I do'.

And it seems like when I try to move beyond that, I stall out. I tried early this year to have more discipline regarding daily time with God. That lasted a few weeks, and trailed off. Today I'm back to forcing myself to be in the word for at least a few minutes, every few days. (On a side note, I think I am frustrated that God doesn't seem to want to talk about what I want to talk about. Foolish of me, but true nonetheless.)

I have done decent 'work' at praying in the truck, or spending that time in real, heartfelt prayer -- but honestly, there are few alternatives behind the wheel. When I really have an alternative, I find myself either working through my ever-lengthening 'to do' list at the office, or hoping to just vegetate at home.

It occurred to me today that I really am not strong enough to make the shift from D to O. I have tried more times than I can tell you, to no avail.

So here's what I'm starting to pray: that God would turn the game around by his strength, by his power. Mine obviously is not enough, and I'm sure it was never supposed to be.

B